Being a really lousy landlord is fun, easy and rewarding!
Here’s some useful investment property advice for all you novice real estate investors wanting to become landlords. Consider this a primer for the uninitiated to help merit the kind of poem Murphy wrote.…
Make sure to follow this primer carefully
Now if you want to be a truly bad landlord, here’s what you’ll need to do:
Be especially unresponsive: don’t get back to your tenants in any timely fashion after they call you for help. In the inimitable words of Joe Walsh, “Leave me a message. Maybe I’ll call…”
When a tenant calls with an emergency, make sure to really put off getting back them. They’ll deal. Or better yet, they’ll fix the problem themselves. See – no need to get back to them. Problem solved!
Snow and ice creating a hazardous situation on your walkways for your tenants? Let them handle it. They can buy their own shovels, clear the walkways and spread salt and sand. They’ll never fall and sue me…
Better still, wait a month to return their security deposit. Why should they have their money back any sooner when you can keep it in the bank in the interim continuing to earn interest for yourself (at a whopping 2/10 of one percent). Lord knows – they don’t need their security deposit back any time soon…
The Tao of Bad Landlording…
Who cares what they think of me? They’ll never be in contact with any potential future tenants in any of my buildings. They’ll never jeopardize my securing only the best tenants for my units. Right? Well…right???
Why should I even give them the time of day? Their requests (for poor heat, inadequate water pressure, faulty lighting/bad electrical outlets/you name it – are all ludicrous!
I think my tenants should consider themselves lucky they have a place as nice as mine to rent out.
The proper attitude
So be sure to follow this investment property advice that gives you the proper attitude to be a truly bad landlord. Without the right attitude, you can’t possibly pull off being a terrible one. And if you haven’t already seen it, check out “The Landlord” with Will Ferrell to see the quintessential nasty landlord. It pretty much says it all:
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